Stuttering Hexagon - John Harrison

From http://www.masteringstuttering.com/recovery-stuttering.htm

John, age 15	John, age 35
Beliefs	Beliefs
I have no worth (low self-esteem)	I am worthy (good self-esteem)
I must be nice at all costs.	I must be genuinely me.
What I have to say is unimportant.	What I have to say is important.
I have to please everybody.	I have to please myself.
People are focused on me.	People are focused on themselves.
The world wants me to be good.	The world wants me to be me.
Expressing feelings is bad.	Expressing feelings is desirable.
The world has to meet my mother’s standard.	The world is perfect the way it is.
My needs always come second.	I can decide when my needs have priority.
Perceptions	Perceptions
People are judging me.	I’m the one who’s judging me.
I’m not measuring up.	I’m doing the best I can.
I’m being aggressive.	I’m being assertive.
The other person is speaking the “truth.”	The other person may be speaking the truth (and maybe not.)
Intentions	Intensions
My intentions to speak and not speak are fighting each other.	My intentions are in alignment.  I’m clear when I want to speak, and it’s okay to speak.
Physiological responses	Physiological responses
I am sensitive and quick to react.	I am sensitive and quick to react.
Physical behaviors	Physical behaviors
I tighten my lips and vocal chords and hold my breath when I’m worried about speaking.	I keep everything lose and supple.
I hold back.	I let go.

If not for my

If I didn’t stutter, I wouldn’t be the person I am.

I can sometimes take  5 minutes to say something that might take someone else 10 seconds to say. ( borrowed  from  Zach Peterson, a bloke who stutters).

If I was not an Indian , I woudn't be the person I am.

( being in multi-cultural New Zealand)

Every human have  some challenges set out for him/her and has to scrum with it - to get through each day -  to get through the Life.

To end, its not the destination but the journey that matters more

Trust

An apprentice has to Trust the Master.
A student has to trust the teacher.
Mates has to trust each other.
Humans have to trust each other.

Trusting in other humans helps with  trusting oneself.
I never really had the trust or confidence in myself because of stutter.

But then I learnt to trust myself as a Person with stutter, my fellow humans  and in the higher intelligence/destiny.

A past where I can only formulate words with a struggle,   - to a situation where i don't give a damn about my impediment and  jotting down most of my innate feelings before the world, because I trust the world.

The world maybe full of bastards and whores . But I also want to be one of them  . So that would make it even . As thick as thieves.



And this is to the world because i want to trust the world.

The types of Resolutions I make. Considering it being one of the most widely practised form of Passing Time.



Screwed by default

Glance at history for a second .  It teaches that if it is essential for one to live - Then it is justified to kill - anyone, any number.

(Script Excerpt from Tamil Movie - Billa)
Edit:  Something similar in Godfather 2

True, as is evident from the Hiroshima/Nagasaki bombings. Only a matter of who used it first and marched to be the winner. Surely one of  major things that is wrong with the World. It may not be rectifiable as it is related with the survival and basic instincts of Life.  We are screwed by default.

There are these people who lived under air raids of World Wars. A most unfortunate time and place to be in. Their understanding of the time may have been something similar to - End of the World. There could not be a better time which fits the biblical apocaplypse prophecy of  "Nations will rise aganist each other"

But  times do change , humans do have the good sense to come up with the idea of a  "United Nations" as aganist "Nations rising aganist each other" and a period of prosperity has came in after a period of  utter destruction.

Source of Happiness

Happiness ,  a state of emotion , should be rooted in the Present and its source should be the Mind. Placing it on something that could happen in future or on Worldly Possessions , bounds it on Conditions, making it fragile.

It should be a feeling of  "It is" and Experiencing that "It is" for the fulfillment of the Self.

Its quite humane to derive happiness from Material things.  Its alright .  That happiness still remaining a factor of  "It is"  originating from expereincing that material gain in mind and in the present.

Blessed are the Ones whose happiness originates from the Inside without any conditions.

 Nikos Kazantzakis recollectss from his childhood

When the hard earned work of a full year  is wiped out by rushing water, the child  shouts in despair "Everything is gone" and his father scolds "Be Silent. We are still here."

And whenever during the rush of misfortunes in Life, the son closes his eyes, recaptures this moment and calmness enthralls him.

The Child grew up, Lived and Died and his epitaph reads  "I hope for nothing. I fear nothing. I am free".