Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Beauty in things exists merely in the mind which contemplates them - David Hume

Tackiness then also should exist only in the mind of the beholder.

Rose and Shit. There is no distinction unless ones minds find a difference because of the human senses. Nothing is inherently beautifull or Ugly - Its how a person see it.

The entire world can see something from one point of view, but one may see it from another point of you. And  because the entire world see it from a perspective, it cant necessarily be true. Its true only for them in their mind.

Ones world  is moulded by how one sees things. One could see a paradise or one could see a hell.

If goons surround you and beat you up, its because how they see things and they feel it the right thing to do. But how one react and feel about it, is the reality in another world. And its upto one to see everything positively.

Bliss

Know ones strength by counting their enemies.

Let me count my enemies. Hmm. I cant come out with any one. I must be so meek and weak then. :(

When you judge someone it doesn’t define who they are, it defines who you are.

See every person as they are - non judgmental and non-accusative.

See even oneself as one is - non judgmental and non-accusative.

Mates whose expectations i could not stand up to and Mates who could not stand up to my expectations. Ex-girlfriend whom i could not stand up to , who cut me off and never communicates with me . Its just she being she. My new crushes who just crush me. Its just them being them. 

Me, who can often be lazy, committing big blunders . Like searching for a partner at the wrong places and at the wrong times. Like not exactly working on my bloody stutter but writing on a blog all the time. Its just me being me.

Its just everyone being as they are. There is no conflict of mind ,ego or need of improvement when one starts to see and accept others and things as they are.

And a realization that deep beneath, when we see our-self without the body and mind(thoughts), all is just one - One Life which manifests as different beings.

What one fears becomes true

If i think i can stutter in the situations i go into, i probably end up stuttering. Pfffff!!!
If i think i will just be fine, i probably will end up just be fine. :-)

What i think about it can just become true!!

It takes the expereince and practice to feel no anxiety in mind.

Never bend your head

"Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye." - Helen Keller

And if blokes gun you down the abyss, take them out while you fall.

Kia Kaha ChristChurch

I may have come here with selfish ambitions of getting something for myself out of the aftermath of a quake ridden city.

Always hear from others that What that made Christchurch isnt here anymore. I may have missed the former splendour of Christchurch and the expereince of those devastating Earthquakes. But proud and happy that i am here than anywhere else in the world now.

Its not the wealth and Posh that inspires the human spirit.  But its the spirit of locking hands and shoulders and being there and taking it when formidable hits come. About stories of people who didn't show their back when there was a call of duty.

The human kind is incredible in its ability to recover. Christchurch will recover and hopefully i will be here when its happenning.

Kia Kaha ChristChurch

Basic Requirements of Life

1) Food and Water

2) Shelter and Clothing

3) Love and Sex

Thousands have lived without love, not one without water - W.H Auden

Wondering whether Direct to Transcendence is possible ?

Team Dynamics

I may or may not like solitude but I do live along  my mates and do work as part of a team.

Everyone's mind automatically generates a personal profile on others based upon their interactions with them. I do it unconsciously on others and others do it unconsciously on me . Its  human psychology and but its unimportant in the scheme of things because the mind  is basically concerned with oneself only and it  often and always has room to accommodate others differences. How boring it will be if everyone is the same.

I remember my Manager commenting on me that "You are articulate and You keep to yourself". That may be true, i may keep to  myself because i may not want to encroach upon others time by my stutter or more importantly, to be exact, talking isn't part of my job till now or maybe i am still practicing Spoken English. I do say it because i don't  want to see myself restraining from speaking because of my stutter.

As it is often important in recruitment, alignment of interests of the recruiter and the recruitee is what that is needed to be met.

In the end, in life, mates are so important be cause, many a job , one cant pull it oneself. Its with that old  saying- easy to break a twig  but hard when its a bunch. And in a work environment, what matters is that the objectives are met.

Cage Fighter

 Wonder what its like to be Cage Fighter. Its not about violence or the hatred. But for the physical and mental toughness of becoming  one. Being able to see oneself in the mate in their, while giving and taking rough punches, hits and throws, teaching each other what life is all about. And to get used to the sensation of that physical realm where pain and hurt is nothing.

But there's no denying, i will spill my blood and splean in the beginning, bones and ribs will crack. But hopefully they will repair them self  for another fight.

Wishing there are some insane cage fighting in  high altitude Himalayas , in case i end up there. But my myopic eyes which become so by playing  crappy video games in childhood, sitting close to the television will be a bane and put me in disadvantage. I cant put my glasses , because i imagine that's the first thing thats gonna change its shape and fly away with a punch, probably injuring my head.

But I don't need to think about my stutter any more then, in a cagefight.

To end the post,as someone said, its not the destination,but the journey that matters more

Polite Polite Polite

Two words to always put into ones mouth. "Thank You" and "Sorry". Not prevalent in the culture i came from. But frequent in western culture. This is One thing learnt and liked to be kept. Being Polite in Conversations and adding politeness like "Yes.Please" , "No. Thank you", "It is so kind of you" et cetera.  :-)

In a horse. In a countryside.

(Again my crappy imagination because i like the New Zealand greenery)
The poem by Robert Frost. I remember it from some school books.

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Struggle with

Speech may not be the only thing i struggle with. Even if i am perfectly fluent(God forbid, no one is) i may still continue to struggle with other factors. Once you recognise and accept that there is something you struggle with, its just good to own it up and never be ashamed of that. In a ideal world, one would have already got ridden of that incompatability by merely wishing and doing something for it. But in reality, its about faltering and falling in disgrace. And after that, wishing that one stood there for a little more time.

In all this simple anarchy of life, the remaining hope that there is still this little chance of resistance aganist something you struggle with. But resistance is what that causes struggle and by accepting what you resist , there will no more be any struggle. So its about choices and happiness. Would it rather please one to resist or accept what one is struggling with. And is it in good terms with the body and the psyhe.

Maybe there is this content of body and psyhe in utterly resisting something .
Maybe there is this content of body and psyhe in accepting what you resist or maybe moulding it to suit you.

To end the post,as someone said, its not the destination,but the journey that matters more

Day to Day

"A person with stutter is alone if he has no one that stutters around them".

The only practicality is to be in Support Groups or keep in touch with other stutterers and facebook provides an awesome medium for it.

But i like to happily stutter around the persons around me rather than keeping quiet or feeling bad about my stutter. The worst case is me being teased or sidelined. But i shouldn't need to give a damn if any ungrown minds do it to satisfy their uncultured instincts.

Why do we Continue to live. Maybe because we all love our self and  look forward to see or experience beautiful things or feelings happening to us. We expect to love and feel loved irrespective of how many times our heart have been pierced or our love rejected.

But what if one doesn't love oneself. Just feeling the life going on and not trying to be affected by the conditions of ones own life, its happiness or sadness. Maybe something like a hippie in mentality towards living, respecting life in all its marvellous possibilities, beauty and rudeness but still not unfazed by it.

Maybe i am lazy or rude or selfish . i may not play by the book. My stutter may or may not have played a part in it. Any ways i should not  love myself or be complacent but just move on second by second, feeling that life is just that hard game where one just have to be cold-blooded till one gets knocked over to death in some instant second or day.

And i really need to end putting my such crap thoughts into words here.

Humble and Down on earth

There is nothing in living(From a nihilistic perspective). The only purpose in living is to be humble and down to earth. Feel how insignificant one is in the whole scheme of things and appreciate how each of us still moves on.

Literally be down to earth. Care and love for everyone you see with your eyes , hear with your ears and feel with your skin.

Wonder how starting to write on my stutter took me into a whole new dimension of bliss.

Culture

Culture - the sum total of how one goes on with life in a daily basis and how one view life. The habits learnt from the environment one grew up and the experiences on the way is what that makes up one's culture.

Its great to see how Western Civilizations encourage multi-culturalism because it bolsters their own cultural richness by giving a more varied but amalgamated society, tolerant of difference.

Time of a Life.

As my visa expiration nears and the chances of getting it renewed this time becomes less and less, im forced to ponder more and more shite.

As Jesus says , One needs to lose life in order to gain it. All my risks and plans are blown apart and i may go back. Good that i had a plan B and it can kick in. There is a country India which doesn't require me to have any paperwork because i am a citizen by birth, and i can find my way to the Himalayas. Hoping to enrich my solitude in some Buddhist monasteries and doing voluntary work for the needy.

I don't wanna return to my home and eat the bread made by my mother. Nor do be just a monk in some monastery, lazy to earn my bread.

Coming to the western culture was my dream and i had this luck to come to this small, beautiful country in  deep down south. I took all my financial chances to come here as a student without thinking twice. And still sometimes in a moment i blink to myself  "How on earth did you do this?".


Green Day - Time Of Your Life (Music Video)

Even if i go from here,  NewZealand, i will try to return here, because for a moment i indeed have started to feel this as my home. Maybe as a student again. Maybe on a work visa after getting work experience, because i still haven't fulfilled my career ambition of becoming an Information Technology Professional. As long as the  blood that flows in my body is red [My skin cant  be white or black, I am a brownie. :-) ] , ill have this motive of getting the Kiwi citizenship.

Every person is endowed equally with the gift of life. The feeling of life.  Its the same for every being.  And sometimes one has the feeling of deliberately and slowly letting it go from ones own hands.  Maybe its when you lose everything that you know that life is beautiful. Maybe Its when you lose life that you gain life.

I couldn't have been to the most beautiful places of New Zealand yet because I limited myself as a Student. I do experience a little pain in leaving here but i figure  the Himalayas are beautiful and i  take with me the hope of returning here someday again. When i see the boys and girls here, i understand that Life can be beautiful.

The journey was more important than the destination , it always was and it doesn't matter that i Stutter. At this point, i think for a moment that it never really mattered.

Happiness - The Buddha Way

Or print some money!!

Pain

Pain is weakness leaving the Body. Don't cry like a bitch when you feel the pain.

One of the stark realizations one could have in  life at any time, is that one is alone in this life.

Climb to a higher plane and see the human emotions and experiences from above.

Its not the destination, but the journey that matters more.

Always Be Drunk

Always Be Drunk
On wine, or poetry, or virtue, or whatever.

And if you sometimes happen to wake up
on the porches of a palace,
in the green grass of a ditch,
in the dismal loneliness of your own room,
your drunkenness ebbing,

Ask!
What is past?  I dont know
What is present? I dont know
What is time? I dont know

Feel the "Now", the present, radiating from all the animate and inanimate objects, from all the existent and non-existant, from all the sound and the silence.

Always Be Drunk
On wine, or poetry, or virtue, or whatever.

(Adapted from  Get Drunk by Charles Baudelaire)

Late New Year Resolutions

This shitty life is not going anywhere.

So i had to come up with some late new year resolutions.

(1)Get  into Toast Masters.

(2)Get a girlfriend.

Hope to have some things changed by the end of the year.