Unity of the Universe

The individual life forms are obviously not very important in the game. In the sea, most life forms don't survive for more than a few minutes after being born. The human form turns to dust pretty quickly too, and when it is gone it is as if it had never been. Is that tragic or cruel? Only if you create a separate identity for each form, if you forget that its consciousness is God-essence expressing itself in form. But you don't truly know that until you realize your own God-essence as pure consciousness.

- Eckhart Tolle

James Michael Campbell

http://www.stutteringhelp.org/Default.aspx?tabid=932

James Michael Campbell, age 17, took his own life, because he Stuttered.

In an effort to help other stuttering teenagers, The stuttering Foundation of America would like to set up the James Campbell Stuttering Memorial. In honor of James Michael Campbell, they look forward to helping other stuttering teenagers so they can live a happy and exciting life, embracing all that a life unhindered by stuttering can offer.

The Psychological aspect

Stammering has a bigger psychological problem of perceiving our-self in front of others and society.

I may appear to be fluent sometimes - but i still have that difficulty and worries in my mental horizon and it may take so many effort to come out of it.

Anyways, I am always proud to be a Lifelong Person with stutter.
I accept my stammer.  But i don't accept Poor Communication from my part. (From The Indian Stammering Association Motto)

To end the post,as someone said, its not the destination,but the journey that matters more.

McGuire Programme plus Toast Masters Combination

This is madness . This is sparta.

A time came when, for a while, I was left with nothing on the physical plane. I had no relationships, no job, no home, no socially defined identity. I spent almost two years sitting on park benches in a state of the most intense joy - Eckhart Tolle

Truth is worth

'Truth' is something worth to Live for and Die for

I like to openly say "I stutter. So i will speak slowly" when i communicate my ideas in group discussions and interviews.

I would have had the oppurtunity to work as a Softare Tester for a US Firm in India, but I believe I was dropped beacause they dont want to train someone who will be resigning soon. During the later interview sessions i was asked about my blog(my IELTS expereince was in there). There was no attempt on my part to hide it.

I got an offer to work with a Web Development company  and again i coudnt take it because they wanted me to give a long commitment. I remember a close one telling me "You go for it! Tomorrow when its time for you to go abraod, just pack your bags and say bye-bye to them". But I didnt do it . That is not what "Trust and Truth" means.

Life is not just a job or a career.  I believe its holding to what that you feel is 'important'.

I choose and  came to New zealand,  when i could have went to Australia and stayed with my sister there. The reason i believed, "One cannot always peg onto one's relatives".

I came to New zealand, got numb because of the Culture shock and starting to speak English brought more stuttering problems.

I  happen to hear options of forging some expereince certificates for the need here . And i say, I will go back to India rather than forge documents to fool any employer. In that case, I will trust the man upstairs to have a plan to enable me to pay back my loan even if i return from here.

Is it Laziness and Cowardice ? Belief in Virtue is more important than virtue itself.

As they say here, a day is 8 hours rest,8 hours leisure and 8 hours work.  Work is something precious, something which enables toil to be converted to food. And i believe there is no room for cheating in work.

To end the post, as someone said, its not the destination, but the journey that matters more.

Experience is Secondary to Attitude

How can one be negative about not getting a Job, when he/she hadn't been to a 100 suitable interviews and say "I stutter" but I can effectively communicate and do the Job.

As a friend of me said, some people start early in life but may get bogged down in the running. Others may get start lately, but may outrun others in the stretch. Their is no sense in comparing one to another. Everyone is just unique,valuable and lovable.

In any case we die, so why not have the attitude to attempt give the best shot in Life. If its still not coming anywhere near the best shot - No worries mate, no worries. Because Life is about Living - not the rewards.

Its taking hits in face and spitting bloods that makes a manly life.

To end the post,as someone said, its not the destination, but the journey that matters more.

Contrary to the "Pursuit of Happiness"

"I dont need anything ever in this life".

Another film dialogue that caught my attention(From the Movie Video "Sublime")

Who can say that?   One with no expectations from Life.  One with no cravings for any sort of acquisitions in Life.

I surely envy a person who can say that with all his heart, untill i become one.

To end the post, as someone said, its not the destination, but the journey that matters more.

I like how it feels

I may stutter severely, but i like how it feels.

Sometimes, i smile like an idiot and i need to consciously tell to myself  "Don't be an Idiot and smile like that".
 I like how it feels. 

Mostly, I dont understand a word in the kiwi accent, almost like a foreign language.  But i like how it feels.

I take deep diaphramatic breaths to manage my stammer and control my anxiety level .  And i like how cool the air is in New Zealand for that.

I may fail in many aspects.  But i like to feel that "an expereince of a defeat" matters and "Failures are the stepping stone to success".

To end the post,as someone said, its not the destination,but the journey that matters more.

A Balance

While in India, I learnt to pause and breath as a part of managing my Stammer. 

The "fluensy shaping" way  has no room for that . Its like "Dont think about breathing. Just breathe normally while speaking".

The Mcguire approach goes for deliberate breath and pause. And sure i want to do that in longer conversations and maybe also voluntary stutter (pseudo stutter)

But in some conversations like in a counter, i feel its better to just go for a  unnaturality and tell the matter in a flow.

I need to find a comfortable psychological balance between the two in my mind.

To end the post,as someone said, its not the destination,but the journey that matters more.

Lucky Bastard

One in a 100 have the debilitating fluency problem of a stutter.

Most kids grow out of a stutter. Statistically , Out of every 5 kids who have a stutter, 4 kids grow out of it.

Rest one in the five will become adults with a stutter. Yes, i am one of those lucky bastards. Adult with a stutter.

I didn't choose to stutter. Stuttering choose me.

Adults with a stutter can mostly only manage their stutter. And not cure it completely.

Yes i Believe. I can manage my stutter. I can be the effective communicator.

I had this journey to New Zealand as a student aiming to get a Permanent Residency here, costing me around 15000 US dollars.My family assets in India is under Bank mortgage for this and I must repay it somehow.

And i find the need to further increase the mortgage because I couldn't cope with my studies in the first try and get a passing grade.

For me to get the Permanent Residence, I should be smart to 'pass the course and get a IT specialist job here' Or i should be smart to 'marry a women here'. Period.

I wont ever give up on stammering or on my life even with a 1000 failures.

As i look into the horizon of future, i have decided i wont let my eyes to look down in despair, even if the worst scenarios strike me.

I may die! I may Live ! One step at a time ! Move forward. Even if you are to go against a fire breathing  dragon.

If you are willing to die, nothing else matters. I wont ever look down upon my stutter. I will be always proud to live this Fucking life with a stutter, because i know i am not alone, there are 7 billion humans out there(world population) who are facing and living their life each day.

To end the post,as someone said, its not the destination,but the journey that matters more.

Philip Garber

Mcquire Approach

This is some of the attributes of the McGuire approach as i have understood.

1) Don't be coerced into speaking.  Speak only when you are ready and you know what to speak.

2) Make eye contact while speaking.

2) Take deliberate diaphragmatic breaths in between so that the power to produce speech stays.

(I think its cool because one look pretty positive in breathing rather than blocking)

3)Voluntary Stammering (The hard one for me)

4) Face every speaking situations head on.

5) Speak with clarity and power. Be effective communicators


"Never give up", "Face your fear", "Yes, you can!"

.

Stuttering Vs Speaking Slowly

Many stutterers just go on to stutter rather than speaking slowly. I was quiet fluent talking slowly during my therapy sessions but find it hard to take it outside. It is one of the characteristics of stuttering because it has a psychological aspect.

But i wish, i could speak slowly rather than to stutter!

To end the post,as someone said, its not the destination,but the journey that matters more.

Coat of arms

The New Zealand Coat of Arms

At a sight,what does it look like?

The blonde(probably signifying the  British Queens people) and the ships in which they came here. The Maori's who were already here. Rearing and Trading of sheeps.  The Agriculture and other crafts and smiths.

Seems Pretty Medieval but a solid display of heritage.

No Excuses

Ka mate

Ka mate, ka mate! ka ora! ka ora!

Ka mate! ka mate! ka ora! ka ora!

Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru

Nāna nei i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā

Ā, upane! ka upane!

Ā, upane, ka upane, whiti te ra!

(Translation)

I may die! I may die! I may live! I may live!

I may die! I may die! I may live! I may live!

This is the hairy man

Who brought the sun and caused it to shine

A step upward, another step upward!

A step upward, another... the Sun shines!

This is the Maori haka, A challenge thrown to the Opponents and a show of courage before war, made famous by the All Blacks, New zealand rugby team.  

The spirit of haka is the greatest lesson ive had from New Zealand.

Sometimes when the pressure increases in Life because of my speech impediment, i mumble the haka !!

To end the post,as someone said, its not the destination,but the journey that matters more.